Horoscopes For Taurus Season

Surprise, bitch! My horoscopes are back in session, baby. This week the sun goes into Taurus, and will be there from April 20 to May 20 making it officially Taurus season! What does this mean? Well, it could mean a lot of things depending on your sign. Sit back and relax like a Taurus and enjoy this month of the bull.

Aries
While you usually love putting yourself out there, Aries, I would caution against doing so right now. You’re going to come up with a really great tweet that has a good chance of going viral. That sounds great, but what you don’t know is that there is a friendly acquaintance of yours who has a folder on their computer full of embarrassing pictures and Facebook posts from 2009 that you thought you successfully scrubbed off the internet. They’re waiting for the perfect time to release this information in an effort to humble you. You can post what you want, but just remember that there potentially is a cost to doing business.

Taurus
This month is all about you, so be prepared to have the best time of your life. As soon as the sun shifts into Taurus, you will instantly become really hot. Not to say that you weren’t hot before, but you will go to sleep on the night of April 19th and wake up on the 20th with a beautiful glow that was not there before. Use this incredible transformation to get away with robbing a bank or something — you deserve it!

Gemini
After a year of being isolated away from your friends, there is a good chance that you will…