My Trip to the American Girl Doll Hospital

If you haven’t heard yet, I am single. I am so single that I have never not been single. I am so single that I’ve reached that point in my life where I had nothing better to do than to go through the shed in the back of my parents’ house and find the box that contained my old American Girl dolls and all their accessories. I am so lonely that once I found the dolls in the shed and saw that they were worse for wear, started trying to scrub the weird white mold that got all over my Kit doll’s face. I am so lonely that I brought said dolls back to my apartment and they have a little place to sit, facing my bed and watching me sleep. If you need to ask, I am probably not okay.

Kailey (the surfer Girl of the Year doll from 2003) had the loosest legs I’ve ever seen. They would just go every which way. She also had these really nice braids originally that my ten year-old self loved to mess with. Kailey didn’t look so bad as she just looked like she was loved very much by a child.

Kit, on the other hand, was a different story. My two dolls were stuck in the same box but Kit just had all the bad luck. Her face was covered in mold that we mostly were able to get off, but not without some casualties. Her classic freckles and part of her eyebrow got taken off with miracle spirits. While her limbs were still pretty tight, her arms were dark on the inside-indicating that mold got in there as well. At first, I just took their new shed-induced flaws as a part of their long history as dolls that I loved as a kid and how usually childhood toys do look a little fucked up. But then after having to stare at Kit’s post-mold half-eyebrowed face I knew I couldn’t deal with this forever. And I knew that there were other options.

Kit has the bags under her eyes that people get when they’ve been through some shit. Kit is basically my lookalike doll without even trying.

It was time to take a visit to the American Girl doll hospital.

Now you might be wondering why American Girl dolls have a hospital and that’s a great question. I haven’t been able to find an official statement but logically I think the reasoning behind it is that while these dolls are meant for children, they are also way more expensive than any other doll. Kids do wild stuff and it’s nice to know that if a…