Pitches for Holiday Movies That Should Exist

Renée Millette
5 min readDec 13, 2021
Image credit: Netflix

So many holiday movies are the same, about a woman from the city coming back to her hometown, finding love, and finding the true meaning of Christmas. That’s all fine and good, but what if we got literally anything else? Here I’ve made a short list of some movies that I would personally love to see on the tiny holiday screen. Netflix, please call me.

The Princess Switch 10: Switched For The Last Time
In the tenth movie of the Princess Switch series on Netflix, there are so many royals looking exactly the same, switching their identities around all the time in the name of romance, and it has become a dangerous international crisis. Now all of the world governments have decreed that ten Vanessa Hudgenses are nine too many. This Christmas, watch each Vanessa Hudgens fight in a bloody (yet very festive) battle to the death to find out who deserves the title of the One True Vanessa.

Don We Now Our Gay Apparel
All this is is the most generic holiday romance movie about two gay people and it’s going to be actually funny and warm-hearted and not whatever that Kristen Stewart movie was. Not a weird, rich Republican politician family in sight. Literally what the fuck was that.

My Life as a Teenage Santa
Nick Santa Claus Jr. just wants to be a regular high school kid, but he’s far from being a normal kid. His dad is the one and only actual Santa! As the oldest Claus kid, Nick Jr. is destined to take on his father’s job once he comes of age, but there’s nothing that Nick wants less than to follow in his dad’s footsteps. Against his dad’s wishes, Nick signed up for the school basketball team (the North Pole is only their winter vacation home, they actually live in a suburb of Cleveland during the rest of the year) in an effort to pursue his own dreams. There’s an emergency in Santa’s workshop and he needs his son’s help, but the biggest basketball game of Nick Santa Jr.’s life is happening at the same time. Can Nick Jr. help his dad and save Christmas while also helping his team make it to the playoffs?

Sexy Krampus
We all know of the spooky tale of Krampus (otherwise known as Evil Santa), scaring all the children who have been very bad this year. But what if Krampus wasn’t a scary looking man-goat creature…