Feb 28Member-onlyWhat I Eat in a Day: Full-Time Worker, Part-Time Caregiver, and Alleged Comedian EditionHave no time and no energy to do anything for yourself? Neither do I! Eating is easy, but figuring out what to eat and actually making it is hard, especially when you’re at work most of the day and spend your nights pretty busy (for me it was at open mics and improv practice, etc.). That’s why for the past few years I got…Humor7 min readHumor7 min read
Oct 12, 2022Member-onlyBreaking News: There’s a new M&M in townShe’s purple — and she’s a little different! — Sure, I’ve always loved an M&M — especially the mini ones — but the controversy earlier this year about the de-sexification of Ms. Green M&M earlier this year has really made me think a lot about the entire M&M advertising universe. It’s gotten so bad that my roommate even got…Humor3 min readHumor3 min read
Jul 4, 2022Member-onlyMy Trip to the American Girl Doll HospitalIf you haven’t heard yet, I am single. I am so single that I have never not been single. I am so single that I’ve reached that point in my life where I had nothing better to do than to go through the shed in the back of my parents’…Toys7 min readToys7 min read
Dec 13, 2021Member-onlyPitches for Holiday Movies That Should ExistSo many holiday movies are the same, about a woman from the city coming back to her hometown, finding love, and finding the true meaning of Christmas. That’s all fine and good, but what if we got literally anything else? Here I’ve made a short list of some movies that…Humor5 min readHumor5 min read
Sep 23, 2021Member-onlyHoroscopes for Libra SeasonDo you feel that in the air? Is that the first breeze of autumn, and also the sun going into the sign of Libra? What does this mean for you? Well, this should be the time where things go into balance, since Libra’s whole thing is scales. But unfortunately for…Humor5 min readHumor5 min read
Published in Slackjaw·Aug 6, 2021Member-onlyHelp! My Sleep Paralysis Demon Is The Snowman From Michael Keaton’s “Jack Frost”Is this just a memory of an old Christmas movie or an actual living nightmare? — It started as just a regular old bout of sleep paralysis. I was unable to move and my eyes wandered over to the corner of my room, where I would usually see a tall, shadowy figure standing there, staring at me. His name is Jerry; he’s an old friend of…Humor3 min readHumor3 min read
Jul 27, 2021Member-onlyHoroscopes for Leo SeasonFeel that burning? Is that a climate crisis going on or is it just the sun just in Leo now? That’s right, the sad girl portion of summer is over and hot girl summer can officially begin! Thank the planets because I personally just got my heart broken and I…Horoscopes4 min readHoroscopes4 min read
Jul 21, 2021Member-onlyRating Places I’ve Cried at in Downtown ChicagoThere are a lot of public places to cry at in the Loop, but they are not made the same. — Millennium Park On one hand, it’s a bit of a weird place to cry at because there are a lot of tourists going to see the Bean, and they would rather not also have to look at a crying office worker in their mid-20’s. On the other hand, the scenery is…Humor3 min readHumor3 min read
Published in Greener Pastures Magazine·Jul 20, 2021Member-onlyMakeover Guide for People Who Already Wear Their Hair Down and Don’t Have GlassesThey never said getting hot was going to be easy, but at least now it’s going to be possible. — As we all know from rom-coms (which are super accurate and true to real life), the only way to become hot (if you aren’t already) is to take off your glasses and let your hair down. …Humor3 min readHumor3 min read
Jun 24, 2021Member-onlyHoroscopes for Cancer SeasonEven though it’s been hot as shit in these parts for a while, Sunday, June 20 is officially the first day of summer — and that means it’s also Cancer season, baby! As a resident Cancer myself, this is obviously my favorite time of year because this month is all…Horoscopes6 min readHoroscopes6 min read
